We have prison filled with people who haven’t told their stories
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We have prisons that are filled
with people who have stories
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to tell us, and they're never
given a chance to tell those
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stories for the most part and
here's what I mean.
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We do forgiveness therapy in
prisons and the very first time
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we did a forgiveness therapy
group in a maximum security
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prison with men who were
all mass murderers.
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The therapists, I was a
consultant not the therapist.
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The therapist asked the men,
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"Tell us your story of
those who have hurt you."
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And one of the men who had shot
every member of his family dead
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started weeping.
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Here's this big strong guy who
had been in prison
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for 20 years, and
he was weeping and
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the therapist said,
"Why are you crying?".
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And he said nobody
ever asked me that before.
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And they said,
"Tell us your story".
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Here's the story.
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When he was a child for
punishment his father made him
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crawl on his hands and knees on
a gravel road down
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to get the mail out of the mailbox
and then crawl back again to
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the house and when he came back
he was cut bruised and humiliated.
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And that happened over
and over again.
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At 16 years of age when he was
old enough to pick up
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his father's hunting rifle he shot
the entire family
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and nobody had ever asked him
about that story in prison because
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everyone was intent on
stopping his behavior,
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his murderous behavior
and including
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some of his dangerous
behavior while in prison.
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And I find that actually
typical, where there is a hope
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of rehabilitation of the
behavior,
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but his behavior was an
accumulation of injustice,
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followed by emotional pain,
followed by anger,
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then unhealthy anger, then rage
that came out in this way.
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And here's what I ask myself
all the time and I really ask
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those who will listen.
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What would have happened in
that family if the father
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could have forgiven those in his past
where he wasn't so angry
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as to have a brutal kind
of exercise for his son.
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He thought it was discipline
but it was a demeaning thing.
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What would have happened if
that son as he was growing up
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knew about forgiveness and
began forgiving his father.
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Do you know what I
think would happen to this day?
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He would not be in prison
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and every one of his
family members would be alive.
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But forgiveness was not as we
say on the radar.
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No one thought about it and
it ended tragically,
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with the whole family deceased
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and him in maximum security
prison for life.