The essence and definition of forgiveness

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One thing we did in our Friday
forgiveness seminar

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that's been going on since 1985
is to try and find

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what the definition of forgiveness is.

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And we tried to find
the common core

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or what Socrates would call
the essence of forgiveness.

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Yes, you see different definitions

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from east to west and different
cultures but a lot of times

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they're still talking about
the essence

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or the core of forgiveness

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while they put in
some cultural nuances.

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And so in our interdisciplinary,

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in our cross-cultural
and interfaith group,

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in other words we have people
from all over the world

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sitting in on this Friday seminar,

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we looked at the different
kind of literatures

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in Buddhism,
Confucianism, Judaism,

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Christianity, Islam, humanism.

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And what we tried to do
is bring the definition

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to such a basic level

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that most people in most
of these belief systems

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and different cultures would
agree to it.

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And here's what
we think forgiveness is.

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First it takes place in
the context of injustice

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and we try to get rid of something
negative which is resentment

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toward the one who hurt us

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and to offer goodness of
some kind to that person

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whether it's kindness, respect,
generosity or moral love,

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what the ancient Greeks
called the apape

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which is being in service
to the other.

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When you put the virtue
of justice alongside that,

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the other doesn't necessarily
deserve this goodness

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but forgiveness offers
that nonetheless.

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Three parts to the definition.

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First there's been an injustice.

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Second we commit to
getting rid of the negative

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which is a resentment toward
those who have hurt us.

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And we offer goodness of some
kindness, respect,

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generosity or love.

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It seems to me philosophically
the highest form of forgiveness

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is to unconditionally love
those who have hurt us.

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It's higher than respect

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because you can respect
someone from a distance.

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Love enters into the other
world for their sake.